Hello everyone! It's been a while since I hopped on here to create some content but I've been really feeling the need for a creative outlet so I'm trying to get the ball rolling here on the blog again. Today's post is hopefully going to be the first in a series about self-care and the myriad forms the practice can assume in life (like eating watermelon in the middle of summer), enjoy!
Earlier I was chatting with a friend about the varying degrees of difficulties that we, as 20-something humans, experienced in being forced to move home. Even though I had a fairly seamless transition from school to home, something about being in the space that was most recently occupied by a drastically unhappy high school student (read: me 3 years ago) was semi-stunting for my own personal growth. My parents were incredibly supportive of me and recognized the challenges that came with the abrupt end to my college career, but even they couldn't erase the fact that all of the independence I had come to cherish was suddenly gone with no end in sight.
As such, I feel so lucky to spend a month this summer at one of the finger lakes with my cousins! Being here has really allowed me to take a step back in a fresh space and do some deeper thinking about self-care. I feel so fortunate to be able to bring the newest and most improved version of myself to a happy home with a blank slate and nothing to do but focus on my own personal health and wellbeing, which leads me to the topic at hand, routines and self-care!
Until recently, I was addicted to living my life through interconnected routines. For as long as I can remember I read books and watched videos by Navy SEALS and CEOS and other influencers who woke up at 4 AM and followed a strict routine from the moment the day began to the minute they closed their eyes (at 9 PM because that's when you get tired when you've been up since 4). I kept telling myself that if I could just wake up a little earlier, check another task off the list, drink another bullet coffee instead of breakfast, etc. I'd be more productive and thereby happier. When I inevitably fell short of such lofty goals I felt ashamed of my own human-ness and vowed to commit to a different, yet eerily similar routine that would somehow transform my levels of productivity in every way, only to wind up right where I started. It was the least fun ride I had ever been on and I was the one in the driver's seat!
I even began quarantine the same way. I set 10-15 goals (all of which were way bigger than they needed to be) and crafted a strict morning routine to follow to ensure I was making the most of this unintended period of rest. I followed it for a few days but slowly my regimen of quarantine living began to fall apart. One morning I wanted to read for a little longer than I initially allotted for myself; the following night I stayed up too late and wanted to sleep in the next morning. One day I was sore and didn't want to work out and another I elected not to read at all because I wanted to finish a TV series.
At first, I panicked. I thought well there goes my productivity for the rest of the day/week/year I cannot believe I'm being so lazy. But then, instead of continuing to berate myself, I decided to be gentler with myself and actually consider using this time to rest. I thought about how my body clearly needed more sleep, or the fact that there is no reason to stop reading if I want to continue or have to read at all. I allowed myself to simply be, to drift away from the structure of a routine and live just a little more intuitively. For me, at this moment, that is what self-care looks like.
I don't mean to imply that I don't understand the value of a routine/establishing habits when you're busy and need a bit more structure, or even that I won't at some point in the future rely on a strict morning routine once I start following a different schedule! However, at the moment, my life doesn't call for much structure and it feels great to let go of that self-imposed desperation for such a regimented life.
I've found that rather than creating a routine/to-do list that looks like...
6 am: wake up
6:30 am: lemon water + journaling
7 am: run 45 mins
7:45 am: abs
...I can mirror the same levels of self-satisfaction and accomplishment with a loose list of the activities I'd like to accomplish that day. My goals for each day are smaller and more fluid, allowing me the rest I desperately need.
Lately, my to-do list (if I even make one) looks a lot more like...
- read for a lil
- get some sun
- move your body
- drink 60+ oz h2o (knowing I'd like to get to a full gallon if possible)
- journal entry
...and I get the same amount, if not more done at the end of the day! When I allow myself to read/exercise/do whatever else for my own pleasure rather than to cross a task off of my list, I feel better about whatever it is that I did and often get more out of it. Straying from routine has become a huge part of my self-care practices and I feel so much more at peace with my own levels of accomplishment and productivity.
What sort of practices have become part of your self-care regimen?
xx, lindz
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